I want to talk about my experience which all of you may consider this as a joke or something that is not a big deal… I know this is way unlike my previous posts such as fashion, ootd or makeup and maybe some of you would think twice to read it. but here I’m going to be sharing with all of you the other side of me that I want to talk about, and I hope you guys can take the positive side of it…
The story began when it was my Elementary School reunion. I have this one friend that I have never ever met since I graduated from Elementary, because I moved all the way to Jakarta. I was so careless that even sometimes I forgot their names, not because I did it on purpose, but it’s because I honestly am soo bad at remembering things. So, at the night where I got invited to my Elementary school group chat, they said there was an important thing to talk about the reunion and just to keep in touch and keep the ‘silaturahmi’ between each and every one of us. So then I joined the group. At the beginning, It was so fun to just have chit chats with old friends talking about nostalgic things and stuffs I could slightly remember.
They asked me stuff like, ‘Fir, where have you been?’ , ‘Fir, long time no see!’ , etc. Long story short, after a few days I joined this group there are things that annoyed me about one of my friends that always says cheap jokes like physical-shaming. It happened in a very long time like almost every day he insulted one of my friend in the group. I know those were only jokes, but man, physical-shaming is nothing funny! And the rest of the group never stopped him from joking like that, they even joined him.
The insulted one could do nothing besides laughing or keeping it silent. They said things like, ‘You’re so black.’ , ‘I’ll wait till you get brighter skin then I would want to talk to you’ , ‘You are just like one of a plastic surgery failure’ , ‘You look like a thug’ , and so on… And I don’t know why I feel like I couldn’t stand just being a silent reader in the group, so i thought that I should do something to make them stop. Have you ever imagined if his parents (the bullied one) just scrolled down the group chat and saw their son being treated like that?? It would be such a pain. They raised their son not to be treated that way! Right at that moment, I immediately replied the insulting words at the group and defend him even he never asked me to. I know maybe this is the way they joke around, but I can’t let myself careless about this kind of thing.
I replied ‘I thought this group was made to continue our silaturahmi but it is more like a discussion about insulting about how other people look. Isn’t it? Have you all grown up? Like are there no other things to discuss about.’ And suddenly, they were in silent… It was super awkward.
The bully said, ‘We’re friends, right? So it’s okay to joke like this.’ The bullied one then replied, ‘It’s okay he never tired of insulting me anyway, hehe.’
But you know what? I’m 100% sure he pretended to be okay on the outside, but who knows how he truly feels inside, right? Maybe he cried or feels so ashamed of himself. No one in this world ever wants to be a bully material. The bullied then personally chat me all of sudden he thanked me because I was defending him in the group and tried to be honest with me about how he actually felt.
He said, ‘Why did you defend me? Do you even remember which one I was in our class?’. I replied, ‘Of course I still remember you were so cheerful and so humble back then.’ I know I am careless, I forgot other people’s name easily, but when they do good things or being kind to me I will cherish them forever. I still remember the bullied one is not bad looking AT ALL. He got thick eyebrows, and tanned skin. He always jokes in the class and was a super nice person! He is more than the insulting words my other friends said.
Insulting or physical-shaming won’t make you a better looking person even if you might be the coolest people in the world, that would only make you being forgotten easily. No one would really remember you. Kindness will always win, kindness will always be remembered even if it’s a small one.
After that, no one shows up in the group chat. Hmm yea I know that was all because of me. But I’m proud of myself tbh. Even after that they told me I took things too seriously and they said I didn’t know how to joke. Still, I’m proud of myself.
So I ended up leaving the group chat.
If you see some strangers and they’re in fact is short, are you brave enough to tell them ‘You’re short.’
I’m sure no one is brave enough to tell them that. But billions of other people in social media have the guts to say rude comments because they are being too coward to tell their opinion directly, because they thought ‘It’s my opinion. I can say what I want’. This hit me hard every time I see those kind of people. For those who get bullied out there don’t be afraid, you have the right to defend yourself. You are more than what you think! I know this post won’t make any difference for most people to care more but I hope some of you will get what I mean. To care and start to act against the bullies. There are no limits or rules for beauty, we have our own perspective if others can’t see it.
The new cool is being kind… maybe we should all learn to stop bullying as children and grownups.
I am, Firrrr
I care and I act
I am way more than your opinion.